What Freedom Feels Like

Cars speed by on the wrong side of the road. Eyes gaze at the pale woman and her slightly darker children crowded around her, almost clinging to her leg. The language is foreign gibberish that comes out in beautiful rhythm, yet plays no discernible melody in my ears. The culture is painfully foreign, with customs and idiosyncrasies that do not line up with all that has been taught before.

But then again, that which has been taught is not always right.

So it is in this strange land where a battle rages in the heart and in the mind. It is in this land where the earth under my feet has been shaken, where all that is comfortable and familiar is removed and what I have left is my God, and the crushing realization that my faith is not as strong as I would like it to be, and it is not as strong as others might think it is, or judge that it should be.

The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.

Zephaniah 3:17

Like water being poured on a scorching fire, like a blaze being quenched by the sweetness of healing rain, my heart exhales at the sound of those precious words, sweet life-giving, life-restoring words.

My mind is a veritable battlefield these days, everyday, and it seems that I have mostly been losing the battle. Just as the Rock took his gaze from the Redeemer for just a moment to glance at the wind, which was rustling through his hair, breaking his concentration, and the storm that was looming overhead, clouds dark and heavy with the weight of the world on the verge of pouring out, an he began to sink slowly into the pit of his own making, so I too have been sinking into a pit full of doubt, fear, insecurity and self-loathing.

That which has been done will only pull me down if I allow it, if I hand over that power and trade in that dignity for someone else to call the shots. This is my choice to make, to be clothed in strength and dignity.

God is with me, and He is mighty to save.

God is with me. God is with me. God is with me. Even in the midst of a seeming earthquake, even at a time when I have called into question His love and His sovereignty. God is with me, and indeed He is mighty to save.

And just as the Rock cried out to the Teacher for salvation and his fears were quieted with the love of the Almighty, so too will my heart and mind be silenced.

Huuuussssshhhhhh…

Hush to the lies that bind with chains. Hush to the insults that degrade the soul. Hush to the doubt that cuts me down. Hush to the insecurities that have held me down.

He will quiet me with his love.

In the shadow of the Almighty, sitting on Daddy’s lap, feeling His strong arms shielding and protecting His little girl, there is nothing but his love to think on. The mind is quieted.

With. His. Love.

That is what freedom feels like.