Standing in Awe

When I read about what love is and what it looks like, how to live it out, it is full of actions that have become almost foreign to me. To trust, to hope, to be patient and kind, to overlook offenses and not be easily angered. All of these actions go against every grain of my natural body. Life has taught me otherwise. Life has taught me that these actions are foolishness. Life has taught me that people will walk all over you, take advantage of you, slander your character, all for their own gain. Life has taught me that you have to stand and defend yourself, as no one else will. But these days, God is doing a new thing in my life, and some chains have been cut loose.

For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved, it is the power of God. -1 Corinthians 1:18

Soften what has become hard. It is time to love again. Open your hands, unclench your fists, release to Me all that you have been clinging to, as it has only hurt you more. Soften what has become hard.

It turns out that I have a defender, I have one who speaks on my behalf. I have one who has lavished His love upon me, in such great magnitude that He even went as far as to crown my head with glory and honor. My head! Yes, even my head.

It seems that I had gotten in the habit of acquiring knowledge, but not experiencing the truth of God in my life. I wondered and fretted about my own apparent lack of growth, and blamed God for abandoning me, turning a deaf ear to my cries, neglecting my broken heart. And then I came across this today:

A man's own folly ruins his life, yet his heart rages against the Lord. -Proverbs 19:3

Hmmm. Yes.

In a very bad habit of anger, bitterness, resentment, my heart ached and burned against the Lord, as if it were His doing. But now it is His undoing that has set my heart free, and I could feel the stone within my chest melt, as my body relaxed and I made a choice to forgive and not react. I made a choice to focus on what God had done for me, and allowed His strength to be present in my weakness. And now this captive is being set free, chains of insecurity, doubt, mistrust, and hurt that have held me in fear and bondage for most of my life are falling away and I am feeling how easy His yoke is. I just can't even tell you the freedom that I am experiencing, even in the midst of turmoil and hurt. And yet, I have a peace which passes all understanding, and I just know that the victory will be His alone, for my good and for His glory.

He is that good, yall!

So these days I am absolutely standing in awe of who He is and He power to work in my life. Somehow it is easy to get into routines and habits, which may enhance knowledge and build up the mind, but neglect the growth and experience of God himself. Yesterday I laughed out loud because of how good He is and the peace that He had put in my heart. I was down-right giddy! And now I am reading His word with fresh eyes, not simply taking the words to heart, but taking the promises to heart and expecting Him to move. This one touched and inspired me:

In him and through faith in him we may approach God with freedom and confidence. -Ephesians 3:12

Seriously! We may approach the King of the universe with confidence, and ask Him to do in us what His word says He can (and wants to) do. This has changed everything and I am almost overwhelmed with this love that He has lavished upon us!

What about you? Are you experiencing His power in your life? Are you expecting Him to set you free, or just hoping to make it through your days with fire insurance? We all have stories (which reminds me that I need to start writing mine!) and we all have baggage of some sort. The question is, who is carrying it? I am praying that you would allow Him full access in your life, to move and cut some chains loose!