Monday, November 24, 2008

Because sometimes, life is just messy

Hey y'all! My sincerest apologies for just leaving y'all hanging. I know it has been well over a month since I posted anything at all, and even tonight I don't have much time to say much, as I am sitting in class trying not to let the click, click, click of the keyboard be too much of a distraction to anyone. Whoa, that was a long sentence. Life has change a bit for me over the past few months. Ok, it has changed drastically, and I just have to say that sometimes, life is just messy. Those sweet little "Christian" answers that so easily rolled off the tongue several months ago seem shallow and empty these days, as I feel like a dream I once held so tightly has all but slipped away.
Ok, maybe not totally slipped away, but has been drastically altered; as I went from being a homeschooling, Bible-teaching, stay at home housewife (living the dream), to a full-time student (again), full-time nurse (again), pregnant (again), having to leave my kids with others to raise so that I can work. Sometimes, life is just messy.
And so, as much as my mind has been reeling with thoughts with share, time has been limited, hormones have been flowing, and brain has been occupied with thoughts of healthcare communication. My heart is full of questions as I battle anger and resentment to this incredible change of plans. I have wondered where God is in the midst of it all. Those simple answers such as "God will provide" don't sit as well on the heart as I am standing in line with my food stamps application.
Anyway, life is just messy sometimes, and right now I am wading through a particularly thick part. But I'm still standing, head above water, and as I find a new balance and a new normal, I will share more of this interesting journey. Thanks for hanging with me, and for those who have asked, thanks for your concern. I'm here, and I'll get back to you. Until next time, grace and peace. I certainly need more of that these days.