Monday, November 24, 2008

Because sometimes, life is just messy

Hey y'all! My sincerest apologies for just leaving y'all hanging. I know it has been well over a month since I posted anything at all, and even tonight I don't have much time to say much, as I am sitting in class trying not to let the click, click, click of the keyboard be too much of a distraction to anyone. Whoa, that was a long sentence. Life has change a bit for me over the past few months. Ok, it has changed drastically, and I just have to say that sometimes, life is just messy. Those sweet little "Christian" answers that so easily rolled off the tongue several months ago seem shallow and empty these days, as I feel like a dream I once held so tightly has all but slipped away.
Ok, maybe not totally slipped away, but has been drastically altered; as I went from being a homeschooling, Bible-teaching, stay at home housewife (living the dream), to a full-time student (again), full-time nurse (again), pregnant (again), having to leave my kids with others to raise so that I can work. Sometimes, life is just messy.
And so, as much as my mind has been reeling with thoughts with share, time has been limited, hormones have been flowing, and brain has been occupied with thoughts of healthcare communication. My heart is full of questions as I battle anger and resentment to this incredible change of plans. I have wondered where God is in the midst of it all. Those simple answers such as "God will provide" don't sit as well on the heart as I am standing in line with my food stamps application.
Anyway, life is just messy sometimes, and right now I am wading through a particularly thick part. But I'm still standing, head above water, and as I find a new balance and a new normal, I will share more of this interesting journey. Thanks for hanging with me, and for those who have asked, thanks for your concern. I'm here, and I'll get back to you. Until next time, grace and peace. I certainly need more of that these days.


  1. Oh Shauna!! I have been there and was there last spring with the news of my 3 PG...desired by us but at a later time. Oh, and even now, the pressing of the Spirit on my life is sometimes more than I can bear. He's been working into me the truth of Colossians; but the journey has been filled with pain and lashing out at Him and my sweet family. I pray that this refining time in your life will draw you closer; that you will find His strenght and sufficiency enough; and when you look back at this time you will see it as a marker of true, REAL growth. As mama Beth (moore) tells us continually, He is proving our faith is real and that we are not a FAKE!! Sweet friend, my heart hurts with you and I pray strength and endurance over you this season. With much love and understanding, rachel

  2. Friend, I thought of you today and wanted to say Hi! I am continuing to think of you and I pray that you may be encouraged! Hope you are feeling better.

  3. Shauna,

    I just noticed this post since I am pretty bad with blogging also. Thanks for sharing as I kind of feel a little out of touch with your family. I know things are a struggle for your family and even well meant words don't easily heal or fix anything. Please know that we love you, are [actually] praying for you, and will keep supporting your ministry. No matter how messed up things get, you are still a blessing to so many people and even these rough moments will pass. And yes, I say "moments" because in the long run, this will be but a small memory and I can assure you it will be a positive one because your family will indeed see the glory of God in it.

    Blah blah. I have other things I wish to say, but this isn't the place... so talk to you later I hope.

    We love you.

    Esteban and Fam

  4. Shauna, I hope you're okay. We miss you!



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