Monday, August 3, 2009

Slight Setbacks

Why is it that when I resolve to do something, and I mean really do it this time, life gets in the way? Or lack of will power gets in the way? Or exhaustion gets in the way? So I started this 40 day journey, which is now turning out to be longer than 40 days due to some minor setbacks. My sweet hubby has been in West Africa for the last...two weeks or so...I seem to have lost count. This sort of sent me into a tailspin of sorts as I adjusted to running the show on the homefront by myself for a bit. AAAAIIAAAIIIIAA! Not quite as fun with a 2 month old and two very busy older siblings, one of which flooded the bathroom while I was attempting to cook dinner with said two month old on my hip. There's only so much a mama can balance, and then...the toilet floods. I think that night earned a very serious Blue Bell Ice Cream Sundae.

Like I said, there have been some minor setbacks. Exercise, for instance, has taken a back burner to late nights by myself and early mornings with children who just pop up out of bed with all the enthusiasm of Christmas morning, full of questions and requests and very loud, high-pitched voices. Meanwhile, my puffy eyes are simply desiring just a few more minutes (hours) of sleep after having been open for far too long and far too many times over night with the youngest Okongo, who is now happily dozing in her bassinet.

Sigh.

I think I did mention in an earlier post that if this was all left to my will power alone, it was bound for failure. But I must confess that I am at a loss at how to do this when my man is away. Between the sleep deprivation, complete lack of energy, stress of parenting and potty-training, and just trying to get through the day with all three kids intact, I am failing at my weight loss journey. I wish that I was one of those people who would forget to eat, or who would not eat when stressed or tired. You know the ones I mean? Those who say things like, "No, I can't eat anything right now. There's just too much going on."

What? What do you mean? That's when my appetite kicks into high gear and I want to voraciously devour everything in sight. But I digress. So, I have only exercised once in the past two weeks. And now I am thoroughly discouraged at the thought of having to start over again. It's hard for me to build that momentum. I do have a friend who has graciously offered to come to the house early in the morning before he goes to work to sit while the girls sleep and I can go run, although now it wouldn't so much be a run as a walk/wobble combination. I just haven't had the heart to take him up on the offer. Too tired.

I need to get motivated to start again. I did do one day of Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred. Evil to the core. I need to get motivated to do more. Must. Get. Moving.

Maybe tomorrow. But tonight, I'm going to bed, missing my man immensely. If y'all think of it, pray for him. He's in Ghana now, and will travel to northern Ghana in the morning. It's a long journey, and not exactly smooth highway travel. I could probably use some of that God petition for myself to. I'll get back on track. Tomorrow.



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6 comments:

  1. I've been thinking about you.
    I was wondering if you've ever used Beth Moore's book Praying God's Word. It has chapters with multiple scriptures that can be prayed over many strongholds...pride, unbelief, despair and even food addictions.
    I have picked it up in many different seasons of life and always find it helpful.

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  2. And besides turning to God, which is where we should start any endevor which I have realized this last week during the church sermon, if you could write things down. Don't worry about the calorie and fat count but just write down the food you put in your mouth. It's annoying but it might help to get started. I'm in this boat with you friend.
    Love ya!

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  3. Thanks for the encouragement, y'all. It really means so much to me. Donita, I do have that book on my kindle, which I can't say that I really enjoy. The book I enjoy, but I think it would be much better in actual book form rather than on the kindle.
    Jen, I occassionally write down what I eat...right up until I have few (any) indiscretions, and then I conveniently "forget" to write anything further. Silly, right? Who am I fooling?
    Anyway, I'm plugging along.

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  4. I so understand. When I've had a bad day and been writing it down I go ahead and eat whatever I want which doesn't any and then try again. The weight loss stuff stinks. If it came off as quickly as it goes on it would be great.

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  5. Don't be so hard on yourself. If a lack of will power means not being perfect, then we all are lacking in that department. I sometimes try to remind myself to try to tap into God's WILL power rather than seeing myself as deficient in will power.

    BTW, my dear friend and godmother of my oldest just returned from a medical mission trip in Ghana. Praying for you, your husband, and little ones...

    Blessings,
    Kate

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  6. No guilt. No shame. Pray. Listen. Start anew.

    You have lots of love and prayers surrounding you in your journey.

    Lisa xo

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